Over feeling like I’m not good enough.. It’s time for something new. Time for a whole new me.. I’m moving on to bigger and better things.
Have you ever felt like no one cares about you? Like you don’t matter? It’s pretty depressing to not have friends. I’m going through life alone. Just me, my boyfriend and my family. But where are all my friends? Not like I had much, but still? I need friends. I want friends. I wanna be able to text a bestie and tell them good news or go hangout with them. Life is depressing. And living in hawaii, I just got no friends by my side.. being lonely is never fun. I want friends so one day, when I start a family or get married, they’ll be there for me. And support me. Be my maid of honor, be the God mother. I wish I could find someone I have everything in common with and we’re like long lost sisters.. Is that too much to ask for?
I always thought to myself, what if I was beautiful, would everyone look at me and just stare in amazement. What if I was popular, would I have stayed in high school, and have lots of friends? Or what if, I was just me and nothing different… Do I like this version of myself? Or do I hate it. I’d say, im in the middle.. I like myself, but then again. I look in the mirror, and I think to myself.. How could my boyfriend like me? How can he wanna be with me, when im disgusting… What if, I was beautiful. Would he be with me, or would he be with someone else since im just like every other popular beautiful girl. I wish I was beautiful, but if i was. Would I be here, talking about my life and what I’ve been through? One thing can cause a rippel effect, and if i just changed my looks. My whole life would have changed and been different.. So maybe, being a little different is alright? and good. But that doesnt mean I cant wonder about being different..